After watching this weekend's NFL games I decided I want to bring the NFL into my world. Why should they have all the fun, all the excitement, and all the flash?? Why can't I do what they do in my everyday life?? No more sitting on the couch wishing I was or I could. Today starts a new day in my life and I hope my fellow Bloggers will join hands with me and take the NFL approach to our everyday lives.
What do I speak of you ask? I speak of the celebrating, the taunting, the self promoting I see after every score, big play, or to be honest... every play. Starting today I, I mean we, will all act like total idiots and amplify the highs of our everyday life. Today my new hero and role model will be Miles Austin. Actually you may choose pretty much any NFL player to model your new life after.
From now on whenever I write a citizen a ticket I'm gonna stare them down and shake my finger in their face as if to say, "No Sir... not today... this is my roadway criminal and you just got blown up." To follow that up I will jump on the hood of their car and flex my muscles and look down upon them like shit on my shoe. Every compliant I go to the poor victims will be initially greeted by me sprinting up to them, lowering my campaign hat, and me smoking the fool with some vicious hat to head contact. I will treat a simple shoplifting arrest like I just apprehended a drug dealer carrying 500 lbs of smack and who just killed 12 people in 8 different states. When my fellow officers arrive there will be chest bumps, high fives, and leap frogs to celebrate that 1 minor misdemeanor shoplifting arrest. Wooooooooo!!!!
I don't care if it is my job. I don't care if I get paid to that job. I don't care if I do look like a stupid fool. I'm going jack myself up no matter how big or small the incident.
Why??? Because I want to be a stupid idiot who brings all the attention to myself. Just like an NFL football player.
Please join me as I start my new adventure and hopefully Nationwide will be hiring in the very near future.
Your post has given me newfound motivation. I was teaching this afternoon when one of my students finally figured out what we had been teaching him for the past 2 weeks. I jumped up from next to his desk, did my 6 second celebratory dance and went on about my business. Next there was the student who spoke out of turn. I flew across the room, and shoulder planted him into next Tuesday...Cue the celebratory dance. You know Buck, it does feel good.
ReplyDeleteI tried doing this tonight, when my dog finally took a shit after walking around for twenty minutes sniffing everything we jumped up for a chest bump and he ended up kicking me in the nuts. That celebration didnt work out to well.
ReplyDeleteIm going to contradict myself here so bare with me. I agree that most NFL players look like jackasses after getting a two yard first down in the middle of the 1st and acting like they won the super bowl, or even when they make a huge play for a touchdown they do something stupid to showoff. Just act like the greatest RB ever(in my lifetime)Barry Sanders and hand the ball to the official and walk off the field.
As i said i would contradict myself here so, I think it is stupid that the NFL has a pentalty for celebrating with teammates. I get if they want to say you cant use props thats fine, but how is the football a prop. Let the big lineman spike the ball, who did that really hurt? As for Miles Austin, the penalty was actually on sam hurd for doing the hook 'em horns along side Williams, i guess that was just offensive to the fans and embarassing the NFL.
So now that i have successfully argues both sides of the fence i will say players quit looking like jackasses with stupid celebrations and the NFL needs to quit being so stuck up and let them celebrate.
Im working on a new dance that i will use the next time i pay my nationwide bill.
Wow Buck! Will your police car camera be on? I would love to get a copy of the video to show all of my friends.
ReplyDeleteBooth you must be talking about Marion Barber. He is the worst. The only person who runs around the field acting like he just broke a 20 yarder after juking the entire defense when only he rushed for 1 yard on 2 and 10 from their own 23 yard line. The worst, Desean Jackson, starts to celebrate 10 yards from the endzone with a defender in arms reach. He also gets laid out alot. But all in all I dont mind the celebrating just do it at the right time.
Is it just me or would anyone else loved to have seen Romo get knocked out on that last desperation play that ALMOST worked.