God Bless the Grocery Store

I just got back from grocery shopping at the Superfresh in Rehoboth. Boy... what a treat. I don't mind grocery shopping and being I love to cook I actually enjoy it.

There really are benefits of going grocery shopping if you are a "people watcher" like I am. It's free entertainment that results in the shake of the head, laughs, and utter disbelief.

So anyway, I'm in the store with my daughter. She is 5 months old, plus she was sleeping, so she isn't able to appreciate the observations. I will make sure to school her, in other peoples' obscurities, so she can appreciate them with me in the future.

I am in the cheese isle trying to find some extra sharp cheddar when I see a middle aged couple walking towards me. They are both dressed like they just came from a bass fishing competition where they were spectators. Some light melody from the 70's was palying and the guy starts singing out loud as he walks by me. Cool!!! I will follow up on this in a minute.

Then I'm down another isle and their are 2 chicks, over weight, mid 40's, who are dressed like 16 year olds. Another tune is now playing and this one is a more upbeat, dance type song. Then it happens. They both start dancing like they are on the deck of the Rudder. But it's a short lived dance, like they want to show everyone how cool they are but deep down they know if they go to long they will look stupid. To late!!!

Follow up - Now, having done a lot of shopping (grocery store, Walmart, etc..) I have noticed one thing related to my above 2 statements.

It always seems that the guys are the ones who are singing and the women are always the ones dancing (and singing to), but never the other way around. I especially love when black guys are shopping with there headphones on and rapping out loud. Yea Brother!!!

Every isle I go down is blocked by some old lady. She has her cart parked right in the middle of the isle taking 10 minutes to figure out which can of stewed tomatoes she wants. But I wait patiently!!!

There is always that one shopper who is racing the clock and flying around the store like Carl Lewis. Power walking around like the housewives of Georgetown, almost running into me as I come around the corner. Dick!!!

The checkout lines are always packed and there are only 3 lanes open. I have like 12 items but that's to many for the 10 item or less line and the old lady running the show will kick me out of line. Hire more people!!!

The self checkout lines suck. There is always a "unable to scan" mishap which locks you out and a rep has to come help you. Damn It!!!

Then there is always the strange couple who looks like they just came from the Bates Motel. They stare at you when you walk by like they want to eat you. I find them looking at deals on canned sardines and corn beef hash. Scary!!!!

Not to mention when I leave I almost get run over by 3 people trying to back out of parking places. Look the fuck behind you!!!

But when it's all said and done I love it and I can't wait to go back for more.

If you ever doubt your place on the social pecking order, go to the grocery store and you will feel soooo much better about yourself.

Enjoy!!!