I can't believe Tiger Woods' entourage has yet to make a move in his accident debacle!! I can only imagine what he is paying his lawyer, publicist, and agent?? I can guarantee you that I could have this all taken care of for half the money he is paying these morons! This is so easy to clean up but these high paid suck asses are shitting there pants right now because they have no clue what to do.

Here is what we do know (by police accounts)...

1) Tiger was involved in a single vehicle accident where he was the operator and the only person in his vehicle.
2) He struck a fire hydrant and then a tree just mere feet from his driveway.
3) He was dazed and sustained cuts to his facial area.
4) His wife had to help extricate him from the vehicle using a golf club (how ironic).
5) Alcohol or drugs were not a factor in the accident.
6) There is some speculation that he and his wife had a heated argument, over an affair he is having, and that's why he left at 2 am.
7) He is not talking to the police and canceled their interview for today. Apparently he is going to speak to them tomorrow because he and his wife were not feeling up to it today (I wonder if they purposely waited until Sunday so he could where his "Sunday Red" golf shirt and intimidate the cops?).

And here is what we don't know...

1) Why was Tiger leaving at 2 am?
2) How in the hell do you hit a fire hydrant and then a tree just pulling out of your driveway?
3) If you do manage to hit these things, how do you bust up your face and almost knock yourself out when you are only going 20 mphs??
4) How does your little, supermodel wife pull you from the vehicle??
5) Why is it taking so long for the "Tiger Camp" to deal with this?

Hear is what I think happened...

1) Tiger's wife confronted him about his so called affair with Rachel Uchitel. Whether it's true or not his wife is thinking it is true. A heated argument ensues, mainly her bitching, and she whacks him a couple of times in the face. He sustains injuries from same and is probably why he is dazed.
2) He has enough of the shit so he bolts in his Cadi. Pissed off and trying like hell to get out of there, he wrecks leaving his driveway.
3) His wife does a emotional 180 and runs outside to his rescue and calls 911.
4) Tiger goes to the hospital, gets treated, then returns home.
5) He then gathers his entourage to start "Operation Damage Control."
6) Refuses to talk to the police because he and his gang have no idea what to say yet.


Hear is how to fix it....

1) First - Get your wife in check and let her in on the affair if you are or were having one (which I think he is/was). She will be pissed off but she will know the truth and women are much easier at forgetting (not to be confused with forgiving). She will quickly remember that you are worth a billion dollars which makes her worth a billion dollars. Remind her of the prenup agreement as well.
2) Second - With your wife now on the same page it's time to deal with the accident. This is where Tiger has to suck it up little and give up some of his superstar pride. Admit to a domestic issue with you and your wife. Admit the argument was over the National Enquirer's recent release about the affair. You got mad and left in a hurry. Your wife called you and gave you shit and while you were arguing on the phone you weren't paying attention to your driving and that's why you got into the accident. That is also how you got the injuries.
3) Third - Hold a press conference and tell everyone about the argument that caused the accident. Lie your ass off and deny the affair because your wife is now in your corner and will be on your side. She will say she was just upset about the rumors, things got out of hand, and she believes he is not cheating.
4) Finally - Talk to the police and tell them the same thing. If they want to charge you with a traffic citation then so be it. I'm sure Tiger can afford the 2 points and insurance increase. They can't lock him up for anything more than careless or inattentive driving. And I'm pretty sure they can hardly do that because it was a private property accident and he didn't leave the scene. DUI is out of the question cuz they would have had to lock him up by now because they would only have a few hours to do this immediately after the accident.

Pretty simple if you think about it. There are to many questions to be answered and enough different answers to avoid knowing what really happened. It will be very interesting to see what they do!!

Til next time,

Knock Knock!!